[C-OOM] An Interlude
Jan. 10th, 2007 10:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
organicmeatbag[Contains SPOILERS for the game, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. Also contains quotes taken directly from the Knights of the Old Republic game and are the property of their respective owners. Quotes appear here for the sole purpose of role-playing, from which no profit whatsoever is being made. No copyright infringement intended.]
Jolee commandeered the bed and Carth and Revan were left with the hard, stone floor to sleep on; neither complained. Revan stayed awake, long after Carth stopped talking tactics and Jolee stopped offering wisdom and both fell asleep, and he listens to the unfamiliar sounds of the Academy. Someone near is up typing away at a console while another practices lightsaber techniques; all working to become Sith.
Not able to sleep, mind adrift with thoughts, he twisted and turned on the makeshift bed he created. He closed his eyes, thinking of Uthar's words: "I can see into your heart, young human, and I see the dark kernel that is there."
Was there inescapable darkness within him? Was he bound to turn again?
That was not who he wanted to be, and he opened his eyes, blinking within the dark of the room, as he let the thought settle. That was not who he wanted to be. No matter how tempting it might be to rule a galaxy or extract revenge for his life that was stolen, he did not want to be the Dark Lord of the Sith again; to be feared and tyrannical.
He thought – no, he knew ("Their ideals became twisted, their spirits were tainted, and they fell to the Dark Side.") that conquering the galaxy was not what he ever wanted. He thought, deduced, that all he wanted to do (- "it was not your vaunted fight for freedom" -) was save the galaxy in some form or another.
That was something that he was working on even with no real memory of how it all began.
"A kernel is diminutive," he murmured aloud, though not loud enough for Carth or Jolee to awaken, "'Less fostered, it can be overshadowed and dispelled with time."
He stretched and rolled over to stare up at the ceiling, tucking his hands behind his head. His thoughts were somewhat calmed by thinking that out and murmuring aloud; somewhat, but not entirely. He knew the path he wanted to walk but doing so might prove harder than it was to say it. And there were other niggling thoughts and one, in particular, that he was almost afraid to touch on. But he did because he had to sooner or later.
Tentatively, he reached out in the Force, searching for Bastila at an unknown distance away through their bond, and when he found her, she seemed tired and worn but not in pain. At least, she was not in pain for the moment; there were slight, lingering faint traces of it.
She acknowledged his presence with a slight, weak nudge back through the Force and he tried to let her know that he was coming for her. It was weak reassurance and he knew it and she knew it and she sent back feelings of vague amusement back through their bond.
She nudged at him again and he thought she might be asking why he seemed different. Or she might have been asking something else. But he shook his head even though he knew she could not see him. He decided to send playful affection through the Bond and she shied away from it with scolding and...was that amusement?
He grinned in the dark of the room, satisfied and confident that she was going to be fine, for another day at least, if she was dealing with levity.
She nudged him again and he thought it might be a goodbye because she started fading from the bond, drifting into the dark, and he let her go, both needing their rest for whatever awaits them.
And he thought, for once, that he might not twist and turn in his sleep.
Jolee commandeered the bed and Carth and Revan were left with the hard, stone floor to sleep on; neither complained. Revan stayed awake, long after Carth stopped talking tactics and Jolee stopped offering wisdom and both fell asleep, and he listens to the unfamiliar sounds of the Academy. Someone near is up typing away at a console while another practices lightsaber techniques; all working to become Sith.
Not able to sleep, mind adrift with thoughts, he twisted and turned on the makeshift bed he created. He closed his eyes, thinking of Uthar's words: "I can see into your heart, young human, and I see the dark kernel that is there."
Was there inescapable darkness within him? Was he bound to turn again?
That was not who he wanted to be, and he opened his eyes, blinking within the dark of the room, as he let the thought settle. That was not who he wanted to be. No matter how tempting it might be to rule a galaxy or extract revenge for his life that was stolen, he did not want to be the Dark Lord of the Sith again; to be feared and tyrannical.
He thought – no, he knew ("Their ideals became twisted, their spirits were tainted, and they fell to the Dark Side.") that conquering the galaxy was not what he ever wanted. He thought, deduced, that all he wanted to do (- "it was not your vaunted fight for freedom" -) was save the galaxy in some form or another.
That was something that he was working on even with no real memory of how it all began.
"A kernel is diminutive," he murmured aloud, though not loud enough for Carth or Jolee to awaken, "'Less fostered, it can be overshadowed and dispelled with time."
He stretched and rolled over to stare up at the ceiling, tucking his hands behind his head. His thoughts were somewhat calmed by thinking that out and murmuring aloud; somewhat, but not entirely. He knew the path he wanted to walk but doing so might prove harder than it was to say it. And there were other niggling thoughts and one, in particular, that he was almost afraid to touch on. But he did because he had to sooner or later.
Tentatively, he reached out in the Force, searching for Bastila at an unknown distance away through their bond, and when he found her, she seemed tired and worn but not in pain. At least, she was not in pain for the moment; there were slight, lingering faint traces of it.
She acknowledged his presence with a slight, weak nudge back through the Force and he tried to let her know that he was coming for her. It was weak reassurance and he knew it and she knew it and she sent back feelings of vague amusement back through their bond.
She nudged at him again and he thought she might be asking why he seemed different. Or she might have been asking something else. But he shook his head even though he knew she could not see him. He decided to send playful affection through the Bond and she shied away from it with scolding and...was that amusement?
He grinned in the dark of the room, satisfied and confident that she was going to be fine, for another day at least, if she was dealing with levity.
She nudged him again and he thought it might be a goodbye because she started fading from the bond, drifting into the dark, and he let her go, both needing their rest for whatever awaits them.
And he thought, for once, that he might not twist and turn in his sleep.
