[M-OOM] Alderaan

[organicmeatbag]

From here and an hour or less later, the girls have been tucked into bed, both yawning and exhausted. Revan drops kisses to their foreheads and whispers goodnights before slipping from the room and leaving Kira to do the same. And then he waits for her in their bedroom, sitting on the edge of their bed.

Comments

[jedi-exile.livejournal.com]

She stands in the twins' room for a long moment, just staring down at them. At this moment, she's so sure Atris was right, Kreia was right. That she never deserved any of this.

(But she wants it so much).

Finally, she walks away from them, wrapping her arms around herself as she moves into the room she shares with Revan. She doesn't join him on the bed, but leans against the doorframe, instead.

[organicmeatbag.livejournal.com]

"Hey," he murmurs, scratching at the scruff on his chin.

He figures they might as well just get to it, start talking and stop skirting around the issue any longer than they have to. So, he takes a deep breath and starts:

"I'm not trying to leave you, Kira. I don't want to leave you. Or the girls. But, lately, if we're not at each other's throats, we're tip-toeing around one another. And I'm not saying there aren't good times, but they're pretty few and far between right now, and maybe...maybe we just need a break from one another."

[jedi-exile.livejournal.com]

Tears immediately well up and she turns away again. She shakes her head, quickly and randomly and then sighs. "Fine. Whatever."

She nods, pressing her lips together. "I guess that's best."

(he's never coming back is what a voice that sounds like kreia says)

[organicmeatbag.livejournal.com]

"Don't cry."

Please, please don't cry. He thinks they need this and if she cries, he'll...

He sighs and he knows how weak the offer is going to sound, but: "Listen, you suggested that I should go work on my 'missions' a little. And we'll just think of it like that, okay? I'll keep close, you can contact me whenever you want and I'll be back faster than it takes to shut off the comlink."

[jedi-exile.livejournal.com]

She walks in the room to shut the door. "I...fine."

So many other sentences were going to be placed there.

She can't do this alone.

She's afraid to do it alone.

[organicmeatbag.livejournal.com]

Revan frowns, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and looks up at her, waiting for more. And when she doesn't say anything other than 'fine', he says, "At least say something. I can tell you want to, so just...say it. Whatever it is. This is why we came back here. To talk."

[jedi-exile.livejournal.com]

"You've made your decision, Revan." Kira says blandly, staring at the ground. "It just happens to begin to coincide with a fate I'd like to avoid."

[organicmeatbag.livejournal.com]

"You're not fated to end up alone," Revan mutters tiredly, rubbing at his eyes. "And you don't even need me to prove that because you have our daughters and your friends. And I'm not even planning to leave you forever, Kira. Just a few nights and we need this. Not me alone, but both of us."

[jedi-exile.livejournal.com]

"Okay." She says, just as blandly. "I said fine."

[organicmeatbag.livejournal.com]

He's suddenly so sick of that damn bland tone of hers.

"Stop that. Stop acting like some mindless drone and talk to me. I'm not deciding this on my own. I haven't kriffing decided anything even. I'm just trying to figure out what's best for us and them. And all I can think of is to step back for a few days and I can't even do that because your so kriffing contradictory when you tell me go and then act like this."

He feels like he's about to lose his control at any moment and, really, it's only another reason for a break between them.

[jedi-exile.livejournal.com]

"Because I don't trust you to come back," She blurts out before clamping her mouth shut again. But she's already started it, so why not continue?

"Because you're not the one who can't kriffing function on your own anymore. You'll be fine, you always are. It's been a long time since I've dealt with the shavit that haunts me and I know that when you leave it'll come back. It always does, and..."

She sighs, frustratedly clenching her fists. "But you're right. We need time apart, because this isn't working and I don't want to live like this. Neither of us will compromise in the way that we should so yes. You should just go."

[organicmeatbag.livejournal.com]

"Hey," Revan murmurs, standing and heading over to her; his sudden anger and frustration now gone. He cups the side of her face, brushing at her cheek with his thumb.

"Maybe this is meant to help you get over that. To show that you don't need me to hold your hand and that you'll be fine. You're strong and stubborn and you've just got to learn that you've the will to do it.

And, I told you already, if you needed me or the girls needed me, I'd drop anything and everything to get you. I'd be a call away on the comlink. I promise that I'll come back."

[jedi-exile.livejournal.com]

She nods, defeatedly. "Right. Okay."

Sure she's strong. She can do this on her own. But she just doesn't want to.

"But I'm going to have to do something before you leave, so you'll come back."

And that? That is to kiss him right now, hard and passionately.

[organicmeatbag.livejournal.com]

Revan was really only half expecting that. So he staggers for a second before wrapping his arms around her and kissing her back.

And this...this actually makes it a little harder to think about leaving because he does love her and doesn't want to go.

[jedi-exile.livejournal.com]

She wraps her arms around his shoulders, kissing him quite thoroughly before pulling away, still holding on to him. "You know," she whispers, "So you'll come back."

[organicmeatbag.livejournal.com]

"Was already planning on it," he murmurs, pecking her lips in another kiss before stepping back with a sigh. "So..."

[jedi-exile.livejournal.com]

"I'm going...to, to leave the room if you're going to pack now." She tells him. "I can't watch you."

[organicmeatbag.livejournal.com]

"Right, yeah, I understand." He wouldn't want to watch her pack, after all. "I'll keep the Hawk in orbit or...close, at least. In case you need help with the girls or anything."

[jedi-exile.livejournal.com]

She just nods, before silently moving out of the room.

She keeps her hands busy. Washing clothes and dishes and pretending soap in her eyes is what is making her cry quietly.

[organicmeatbag.livejournal.com]

He's got a small bag packed in no time. There's not much in it, mostly essentials, because he doesn't plan to be gone that long.

And when he's done with that, he heads over to the nursery to say his goodbyes to the girls.

They're sleeping now and he really doesn't want to wake them up so he just pulls their little blankets up to their chins - even though they'll probably kick them down again - and bestows them kisses again and it's not so bad, knowing he'll see them again soon.

[jedi-exile.livejournal.com]

She decides, while putting dishes away, that she can't watch him leave either. So she'll stay in here, she tells herself, and clean a little more.


Like this spot. This one spot she's rubbing very vigorously.

[organicmeatbag.livejournal.com]

Too bad, Revan can't seem to leave without saying goodbye to her just one more time. He comes into the kitchen, having left his bag in the other room, and he hovers near the door.

It vaguely comes to mind that he should take some food, but he'll just stop at the store on his way to the spaceport. He clears his throat. "I said goodbye to the girls," he says, watching her scrub rather vigorously at one spot. "I didn't wake them up though, so they're still sleeping."

[jedi-exile.livejournal.com]

"Okay," she says softly, glancing up at him, before going back to the spot.

Don't go, the words are right at the tip of her tongue, so she bites it.


And winces.

[organicmeatbag.livejournal.com]

He covers her hand with his own, stopping the scrubbing for a minute. "I'll contact you in a week, unless something comes up before then. We'll see where we are then, okay?"

[jedi-exile.livejournal.com]

She looks up at him again and nods. "Okay. A week."

[organicmeatbag.livejournal.com]

A squeeze to her hand and his arm drops back to his side. "Right, well, I'll talk to you in a week then. I love you," he murmurs now, pausing to give her a kiss on the cheek.

[jedi-exile.livejournal.com]

She tilts her cheek to him, closing her eyes. "I love you too."

[organicmeatbag.livejournal.com]

With nothing else left to be said or done, Revan heads out, grabbing up his bag in the other room and closing the frontdoor softly behind him.